We held out for healing. We prayed for it. We laid our hands on his head. We called out for God’s kingdom to come on earth, in Zeke, as it is in heaven. But the healing we wanted never came, and finally, after far too long, Zeke took his last breath at 3:00 this morning, passing from life to death, and on into eternal life.
“Where, O death, is your victory?Where, O death, is your sting?”
Zeke is with Jesus. I’m jealous of them both.
I’m jealous of Zeke because he gets to rest from all of his trials. He gets to see what I can only hope for. He gets to know Jesus face-to-face. He is made whole, today, in the presence of his Savior and Creator.
I’m jealous of Jesus because he gets to talk to Zeke. Because of this disease, I was never able to have a real conversation with him. He could only respond nonverbally because the speech function in his brain was not allowed to develop. But now that he’s made whole, the first person he ever gets to converse with is Jesus. So I’m jealous.
On this mountain the Lord Almighty will preparea feast of rich food for all peoples,a banquet of aged wine—the best of meats and the finest of wines.On this mountain he will destroythe shroud that enfolds all peoples,the sheet that covers all nations;he will swallow up death forever.The Sovereign Lord will wipe away the tearsfrom all faces;he will remove his people’s disgracefrom all the earth.The Lord has spoken.
Our hope is built upon the resurrection of Jesus. We don’t imagine that Zeke is whole or that we will see him again because we are looking for ways to comfort ourselves. Rather, we comfort ourselves in the historical fact of Jesus’s resurrection and what that means about the future for all who believe in him.
Zeke’s bed is empty, and I feel that same emptiness in my heart. All of the pillows and blankets that protected his flailing feet and arms from hitting the bedrails are still there, but his body is conspicuously absent. My heart is wrung dry. My stomach is churning.
For half of his life he suffered from the effects of seizures. Now, for eternity, his body is made new, never to seize again. I rejoice that his suffering is over. I lament that he is gone.
My sweet boy, the next time I see you we must have a long chat.
I love you.
I rejoice with you.
You are missed.
I will never forget you.
Andy, God has used Zeke to touch and impact SO many lives. Thank you and Breena for sharing your deepest love, hurt, anger and frustration with all of us…for being real. People need to see how Jesus loves us…really LOVES us. We know how much OUR hearts are breaking for YOU but will never know how YOUR heart is breaking. Continued prayers for you and your family and rejoicing for Zeke. You are loved.
People you don’t know are praying for your family. Can’t begin to imagine what you’re going through.
I pray for Zeke’s eternal salvation. he’s with his creator and God. He suffers no more. I pray for his family, for their peace, love towards the father, that it may never leave them.
Andy, I’m so sad that your hearts and home know such pain … the awful hollowness, the tearing between thankfulness in heaven’s home and the anguish of earth’s missing … praying God’s comfort, protection, peace and strength for your family in the journey ahead.
Patti and I are filled with heartbreak andsorrowatthepa yourbeautifulson.We pray that the lord our God has already sat Zeke athisright sideand haswraped his armsaround him. PAttiand I send prayers your way.andwill continue to do so. I have been blanketed by so many prayers and have been touched by ourLord and savior.I know of ythe comfort We have askedall that prayforme to now prayfor you and yours.All our love
Andy, Your family is in my thoughts and prayers. Zeke’s story has touched so many life’s and your and your wife’s faith has made such a difference in my walk with Jesus. I pray for comfort for your family and for the glorious day that you are able to have your talk with Zeke.
Andy,
Our hearts ache for the loss of your precious son. Please know your family will continue to be in our prayers in the days ahead.
Son, your words (& Breena’s) give profound shape to the hard joyous painful grief/hope that we all feel in our loss and gain in Christ’s receiving of Zeke today, March 23, 2014. “All our wounds cry Alleluia!”
Shortly after checking in our soon to be three year old Max, I came upon your facebook post and to this site to read of the passing of your sweet little Zeke. My eyes are filled with the tears of a father as I read your post. These tears were born apart from proximity to Zeke, apart from a knowledge of this boy, his personality, his smile, or any of the myriad of things that made him so special. Oh mercy fall like a warm blanket.
I weep with you Andy and with your family. It is a very small sentiment amidst a significant tragedy. I rejoice also in this, that God has called one of his dear little ones home.
Your brother,
Pete
Andy, Breena, and the rest of your family,
Our prayers and love go out to you and we join you in the hope we have in Christ Jesus. We will join you, after you have had your personal conversation with Zeke, in celebrating a reunion that we cannot begin to imagine at some point in the future. We love you.
Rick and Joanne
I just heard about your story, your loss today and Zeke’s gain today of going to be with Jesus. I am praying for your family!
Brianna and family I have been following your blogs. You all are in my families prayers. You can now take comfort in knowing that your precious child is in the arms of a man who can give him the greatest care and love of all. As you already are doing take comfort that there is no more suffering and your son is now in the eternal kingdom of heaven and that one day we will all meet again and be able to rejoice in the presence of Jesus.
To be on the receiving end of your sadness is something I hope I will never feel. But if I do I pray that God through His mercy helps me the way He is helping you. Prayerfully yours!!
Andy, I’m so very sorry to hear of your son’s passing this morning. I am praying for you and your family.
Brother Andy,
Thank you for sharing from your heart and God’s truths you are standing on. God bless, strengthen and comfort you, Breena and the kids the way only He can.
So sorry for the pain you and your family must endure. So glad that Zeke’s pain is over and he is in glory. Your testimony (and Zeke’s) bring glory to God.
Dear Andy and Breena, Our family is praying for yours. My heart is breaking for you…but rejoicing for Zeke…resting in Jesus’ arms. “come quickly, Lord Jesus”
I have no words, other than, I am so sorry for your loss.
Our hearts are heavy as we share in your grief….but we also share your hope of a son being made whole! Praise God for the victory! Our thoughts and prayers are with you, Bree and your family.
Andy and Breena,
Your great openness and honesty honors Both Zeke and God. You are beacons of His light . I am so sorry for your loss, and glad for the relief you feel.
I followed a link from Scot McKnight’s blog and found this post about your son. Your family and you are my prayers. Believers around the world stand with you in your/our future hope.
Tears, idle tears, I know not what they mean.
Tears from the depth of some divine despair, rise in heart and gather to the eyes.
When looking at the happy Autumn fields, and thinking of days that are no more.
– Tennyson
Jesus of the Scars
If we have ever sought you, we seek you now,
Your eyes burn through the dark, our only stars,
We must have sight of the thorn-marks on your brow,
We must have you, O Jesus of the scars.
The heavens frighten us, they are too calm;
In all the universe we have no place.
Our wounds are hurting us; where is the balm?
Lord Jesus, by your scars we know your grace.
The other gods were strong; but You were weak;
They strode but Jesus stumbled to his throne;
But to our wounds only God’s wounds can speak,
And not a god has wounds, but You alone.
When death’s door was shut, you then drew near,
To reveal those bloodied feet and hands
We know today what wounds are but have no fear,
Because of your scars, we know you understand.