Submission is a loaded word. It carries a ton of cultural baggage because it has been used to keep women in a place of subservience to their husbands in particular, and to men in general. It’s a biblical concept that has been distorted and abused, but because it is biblical, it is meant to be life-giving and freeing. But how can we talk about in a way that honors God’s command, rather than supporting our particular cultural or political perspective?

I’ve already written about this important topic, and even spoke about it at Hope Church. But here’s the short version. When God commands wives to submit to their husbands, he does so within the context of Genesis 1 and 2, not Genesis 3. In Christ, God is making all things new. That means that he is recreating the world so that it aligns with the original creation, before sin came in and messed everything up. So when God issues commands in Scripture, he does not do so to support the curses of Genesis 3 or to uphold the fallen state of the world. Rather, his commands in the New Testament are always issued with his new creation in mind.

So when it comes to the issue of submission in a marriage, our model cannot be Genesis 3:16, where God says to Eve, “Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.” This is part of the curse, the same curse which Jesus died to reverse. Instead, our model must be Genesis 1:27 and 2:23. In the first passage, God declares that he has made humanity, both male and female, in his image. And in the second, Adam sees Eve for the first time and rejoices, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.”

In this context, submission assumes the equality of the sexes. God, in Christ, does not elevate women to a status slightly below men. Instead, he invites wives to participate in the humility of Christ, just as he invites husbands to participate in the self-giving love of Christ. This, of course, does not mean that men need not be humble and women need not be loving. It simply means that each partner has a role to play in the lived demonstration of the character and work of Jesus.

After all, as Paul says in Ephesians 5, our marriages are living metaphors of the eschatological marriage of Christ and the Church. Christian marriage is a sign that the Church is the Bride of Christ and that Jesus will return someday to betroth us to himself forever. It is not simply a promise to one another, but to the world – the promise that history ends with a wedding, not a funeral. This is the picture of marriage into which submission so appropriately fits.

Household Code – 3:18-4:1

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¹⁸ Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.

¹⁹ Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.

²⁰ Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.

²¹ Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.

²² Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to curry their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord. ²³ Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, ²⁴ since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. ²⁵ Anyone who does wrong will be repaid for their wrongs, and there is no favoritism.

¹ Masters, provide your slaves with what is right and fair, because you know that you also have a Master in heaven.

In these verses, Paul supplies the Colossian church with a Christian version of a Roman household code. A household code is a set of rules meant to govern the affairs of the home. In Rome, the household codes followed the teaching of Aristotle, who instructed men to rule over their wives and children, particularly noting that the inequality of the sexes is permanent. The man ought to be the pater familias, governing the home with absolute authority. But is this what we find in Christian teaching?

Though not explicitly stated in this epistle, Paul’s words in 3:11 echo what he triumphantly declared in Galatians 3:28: In Christ, there is neither male nor female. This does not mean that there is no gender differentiation in Christianity. Rather, it forces us to examine the ways that we consider ourselves better than others. In Christ, men are not more important than women, just as masters are not more important than slaves or Jews more important than Gentiles. The social revolution of the Gospel is that all are one in Christ, for Christ is all and is in all.

Therefore, when Paul opens his household code by commanding wives to submit to their husbands, he is not operating from a belief that women are of less worth than men. On the contrary, the biblical teaching of the submission of wives assumes the equality of the sexes in the eyes of God. God does not, in Christ, elevate women from their culturally lowly estate to a position just below that of men. In fact, God assumes the equality of the sexes because that is how he created humanity (Genesis 1:27), and it is this equality (and not merely of the sexes, but between all people everywhere) that is a part of the restoration project begun in the resurrection of Jesus. In commanding wives to submit to their husbands, he is inviting women to participate in the faithful obedience and humility of Christ. Biblical submission assumes equality because it is a volitional act of humility in letting another lead. Like love, submission can never be forced upon or demanded of. Submission is a gift freely given to another in humility, not the humiliation extracted by force from a weaker person. (For more on this topic, please see my post on Biblical Submission.)

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What’s your favorite church song? There are a lot of good ones out there. A lot of bad ones, too. Not to sound too crotchety, but there’s one song in particular that just aggravates me. I don’t know who wrote it, but the offending line goes like this: “like a rose trampled on the ground, you took the fall, and thought of me above all.” I think I just threw up in my mouth.

Church songs are meant to be rich with theological truth, not sweet with saccharine pop song lyrics. Paul told the Colossians, “Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts.” This verse can guide us as we gather together to sing at church.

As we sing psalms and hymns to God, we are simultaneously praising the Lord and teaching one another. We learn by singing. (Daniel Tiger, anyone?) Therefore, the message of Christ should be richly present in our music.

The message of Christ is the Gospel – the powerful proclamation that Jesus has died for our sins, was buried, and rose again on the third day. The implications of the Gospel are numerous, and all are worthy of being sung in lyrical poetry. But wherever we depart from the message of Christ in our songs, we depart from true worship.

When the message of Christ dwells in us richly as we sing psalms and hymns together, we ourselves become enriched. Singing about the Gospel honors God and encourages us in our faith. We receive the riches about which are neighbors are rejoicing!

So next Sunday, as you’re praising the Lord in church, remember that you’re doing more than singing. You’re teaching those around you, and you’re learning from them at the same time. Singing together builds up our faith and brings glory to God. So sing with all your heart!

Have you ever thought about how you want to age? Maybe that’s a weird question, but it’s something that I think about all too often. And I’m not talking about aging physically. How do you want to age emotionally? Spiritually? Mentally? What kind of person do you want to be when you’re 70, 80, or 90?

One of the things that I’m terrified of becoming is a bitter old man. It’s one thing to be crotchety (which I already am!). It’s another thing to be spiritually poisonous. I don’t want to become the grandpa whose kids and grandkids don’t want to be around because he’s always complaining, cutting others down, or is consistently expressing bitterness and negativity.

I learned a long time ago that the key to aging well is learning to forgive. Not only does forgiving others improve our spiritual state, but it’s being proven to increase our physical health, as well. When we forgive someone, we let go of the need to be paid back, to come out ahead, or to be proven right. Forgiveness uproots the saplings of bitterness. Learning to forgive quickly and thoroughly prevents the development of bitterness because you have let go of the things that bitter people hold onto.

But you might be thinking, “That sounds wonderful, but you have no idea what that person did to me.” That’s true. I don’t. But God does. God knows all the sinful things that every person has done, whether it’s the things you’ve done to others, or the things others have done to you. And he has forgiven all of them at the cross of Jesus.

Paul tells us in Colossians 3:13, “Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” With his dying breath, Jesus cried out on the cross, “Father forgive them, for they know not what they do.” What a dramatic moment of forgiveness, and what a breadth of forgiveness he has offered! This is the example for us. This is how we are to forgive, with radical disregard for our own rights.

With radical forgiveness comes radical freedom. Freedom from bitterness. Freedom from emotional bondage. Freedom from sin. Don’t let the sins of others bind you to sins of your own. Don’t let your heart become embittered. Forgive, as the Lord forgave you.

The New Self – 3:12-17

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¹² Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. ¹³ Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. ¹⁴ And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

¹⁵ Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. ¹⁶ Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. ¹⁷ And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Now that the old self has been discarded like filthy clothes, it is time to put on the new clothes of God’s kingdom. But before Paul unveils this wardrobe, he reminds the Colossians of three great truths. First, they are God’s chosen people. This is a title given to Israel in the Old Testament. Paul, a Jew through and through, recognizes that, in Christ, the doors of God’s choice have been thrown open. Now all may enter, whether Jew or Gentile, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian or Scythian, slave or free. All are welcome through faith in Christ.

Second, they are holy. They have been set apart for God’s purposes. As Paul explains in Galatians, Gentiles have been welcomed into God’s family as the fulfillment of the promise made to Abraham. Similarly, they are welcomed in so that that promise – that all the nations of the world will be blessed – will continue to be fulfilled in every tribe and tongue throughout all generations.

Third, they are dearly loved. God dearly and deeply loves the world, so much that he would give his only Son to be the atoning sacrifice for everybody’s sins. God’s love is unending, unconditional, and unquenchable. There is nothing, Paul declares in Romans, that can separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus.

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